“Every day brings a choice: to practice stress or to practice peace.” — Joan Borysenko
I'm in a tight squeeze. I'm in the process of making some changes, and it's bringing a lot of chaos, uncertainty, insecurities, and fears into my life, as changes will do. One of my deepest desires is to be able to look chaos in any form, of any magnitude, square in the eye, and levitate up to the next level of not letting any of the anarchy affect my inner homeostasis. Whatever the drama is at work, family, friends, worldly, financial, school, or natural disasters; I don't want any of it to disturb my inner peace.
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| Photo by Dingzeyu Li on Unsplash |
THE PROBLEM: LIFE OFF-CENTER
I often say that I desire to be the glowing yogi in a mosh pit, untouched and at ease. My biggest fear is someone knocking me off balance and getting trampled. My fantasy is to be floating there in the lotus position in the middle of it all, with pushing and shoving going on around me, yet I remain at ease, guarded by my peaceful light.
Keeping this vibe of peace is hard to do sometimes when we are faced with the challenges of life. Winds of change blow through our lives daily, and unpredictable circumstances happen regularly that are beyond our control. My brain rushes to "fix" everything, and if something comes up that doesn't go according to my plan, I spend sleepless nights trying to figure out what to do. I will solicit advice from friends, loved ones, colleagues, and my dog, scouring the Internet for hints and solutions. Yet, this approach leads me away from embodying that peaceful yogi.
THE SHIFT: RECOGNIZING THE MIRROR
When we recognize that life is our mirror, we begin to understand that the outer chaos merely represents our mental state. If we can quiet our inner chaos, our outer chaos will simmer. However, too often we get this process backward, and that is why it takes us so long sometimes to tame all of the ruckus: We don't take the time to first quiet our mental noise.
This reflection prompts us to consider the intricacies of our inner world and its influence on our surroundings. So the question becomes: how do we quiet that inner chaos when life is genuinely difficult? How do we return to center when everything around us is spinning?
DAILY PRACTICES FOR RETURNING TO CENTER
Visualize the Outcome: Before my feet hit the floor each morning, I take a few deep breaths and picture the kind of day I want. I imagine myself feeling centered and calm, not just hoping challenges disappear, but seeing myself staying grounded while facing them. I picture supportive friends around me, feeling their warmth and encouragement. This practice shifts my nervous system from reacting to responding, so I can approach each moment with clarity. It takes maybe three minutes, but it changes everything. I'm not just dreaming of a better day; I’m preparing myself to embrace it, whatever comes.
Train Your Subconscious: Feeling our desires matters more than just thinking them. I take small, real steps throughout my day. Before work, I pause at my kitchen table to breathe, giving myself stillness instead of rushing into chaos. I pet my kitty, feeling her soft fur—it grounds me. On my drive, I play uplifting podcasts that make me smile. At work, when overwhelm creeps in, I redirect: I focus on recent wins, seek joy in conversations, notice beauty outside my window. Each small action cultivates the calm I desire, transforming ordinary moments into anchors of peace.
THE PRACTICE OF EMBODIMENT
Being centered isn’t just about your mind; it’s also about how your body feels. When I’m centered, my shoulders soften, my breathing gets deeper, and my jaw loosens up. But when things get hectic, my body usually tells me first: a tight chest, shallow breaths, and clenched fists.
One easy thing I do is focus on my breathing and bring my attention inward, instead of getting caught up in all the external chaos. When I let my mind wander to everything around me, anxiety and urgency take over. But when I turn my focus inward, breathe deeply, and feel my feet on the ground, I find a sense of inner peace.
I imagine my kitties, so relaxed and content, just watching the world go by without a care in the world. They remind me that taking care of myself is the most important thing. Even when the world is spinning, I can take deep breaths and reconnect with my inner calm. In that centered space, I find the clarity and strength to handle whatever comes my way.
These practices help us find our way back to the center when we’ve drifted. But the true challenge is learning to live from that centered place. How do we make decisions from that center? How do we nurture inner peace that keeps us going through life’s ups and downs?
Next post, we'll explore living the practice.
