Coming Home to Center

“Every day brings a choice: to practice stress or to practice peace.” — Joan Borysenko

I'm in a tight squeeze. I'm in the process of making some changes, and it's bringing a lot of chaos, uncertainty, insecurities, and fears into my life, as changes will do. One of my deepest desires is to be able to look chaos in any form, of any magnitude, square in the eye, and levitate up to the next level of not letting any of the anarchy affect my inner homeostasis. Whatever the drama is at work, family, friends, worldly, financial, school, or natural disasters; I don't want any of it to disturb my inner peace.

Photo by Dingzeyu Li on Unsplash

THE PROBLEM: LIFE OFF-CENTER 

I often say that I desire to be the glowing yogi in a mosh pit, untouched and at ease. My biggest fear is someone knocking me off balance and getting trampled. My fantasy is to be floating there in the lotus position in the middle of it all, with pushing and shoving going on around me, yet I remain at ease, guarded by my peaceful light.

Keeping this vibe of peace is hard to do sometimes when we are faced with the challenges of life. Winds of change blow through our lives daily, and unpredictable circumstances happen regularly that are beyond our control. My brain rushes to "fix" everything, and if something comes up that doesn't go according to my plan, I spend sleepless nights trying to figure out what to do. I will solicit advice from friends, loved ones, colleagues, and my dog, scouring the Internet for hints and solutions. Yet, this approach leads me away from embodying that peaceful yogi.

THE SHIFT: RECOGNIZING THE MIRROR 

When we recognize that life is our mirror, we begin to understand that the outer chaos merely represents our mental state. If we can quiet our inner chaos, our outer chaos will simmer. However, too often we get this process backward, and that is why it takes us so long sometimes to tame all of the ruckus: We don't take the time to first quiet our mental noise.

This reflection prompts us to consider the intricacies of our inner world and its influence on our surroundings. So the question becomes: how do we quiet that inner chaos when life is genuinely difficult? How do we return to center when everything around us is spinning?

DAILY PRACTICES FOR RETURNING TO CENTER

Visualize the Outcome: Before my feet hit the floor each morning, I take a few deep breaths and picture the kind of day I want. I imagine myself feeling centered and calm, not just hoping challenges disappear, but seeing myself staying grounded while facing them. I picture supportive friends around me, feeling their warmth and encouragement. This practice shifts my nervous system from reacting to responding, so I can approach each moment with clarity. It takes maybe three minutes, but it changes everything. I'm not just dreaming of a better day; I’m preparing myself to embrace it, whatever comes.

Train Your Subconscious: Feeling our desires matters more than just thinking them. I take small, real steps throughout my day. Before work, I pause at my kitchen table to breathe, giving myself stillness instead of rushing into chaos. I pet my kitty, feeling her soft fur—it grounds me. On my drive, I play uplifting podcasts that make me smile. At work, when overwhelm creeps in, I redirect: I focus on recent wins, seek joy in conversations, notice beauty outside my window. Each small action cultivates the calm I desire, transforming ordinary moments into anchors of peace.

THE PRACTICE OF EMBODIMENT

Being centered isn’t just about your mind; it’s also about how your body feels. When I’m centered, my shoulders soften, my breathing gets deeper, and my jaw loosens up. But when things get hectic, my body usually tells me first: a tight chest, shallow breaths, and clenched fists.

One easy thing I do is focus on my breathing and bring my attention inward, instead of getting caught up in all the external chaos. When I let my mind wander to everything around me, anxiety and urgency take over. But when I turn my focus inward, breathe deeply, and feel my feet on the ground, I find a sense of inner peace.

I imagine my kitties, so relaxed and content, just watching the world go by without a care in the world. They remind me that taking care of myself is the most important thing. Even when the world is spinning, I can take deep breaths and reconnect with my inner calm. In that centered space, I find the clarity and strength to handle whatever comes my way.

These practices help us find our way back to the center when we’ve drifted. But the true challenge is learning to live from that centered place. How do we make decisions from that center? How do we nurture inner peace that keeps us going through life’s ups and downs? 

Next post, we'll explore living the practice.

Healing Begins Within

Spring invites us to clean; to open windows, sweep corners, and clear what's accumulated. Fresh air rushes in, and suddenly we see it: dust bunnies swirling in the sunlight. Our instinct is to grab the broom and sweep them away. But what if we paused instead? What if we asked: What is this dust? Where did it come from? What might it be trying to teach us?"

Photo by imsogabriel stock on Unsplash

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I Am Done Being Fixed

Dust,
Dirt,
Friend or foe?

Swirling,
Tumbling,
Swaying around,

Visible,
Invisible,
Encompassing.

Above us, below us,
And in between,
Lurking mysteriously everywhere.

Do I keep you,
Or toss you away?

I wonder when we’ll meet again?

Until I witness the dance of light,
how each flake carries what’s breaking down,

Not debris to discard,

But matter in transition,

Finding its way back to Earth. 

I am done being fixed;
I am learning to heal.

They call it dirt;
I call it becoming:

In the soil, patience without pressure, 

Roots seek their way,
Trusting what’s happening beneath the surface,
Where the seeds know without trying.

What grows in the dark
Is not just survival,
But a vibrant blossoming.

---

The poem speaks to a feeling we all experience: standing before what's accumulated, wanting to sort, judge, and sweep it all away. But dust and soil are kin. One is nuisance; the other, nourishment. The real difference isn’t in what they are, but in whether we're willing to trust the breaking down..

Healing is about something different from fixing. It doesn’t ask us to sort through our mess and decide what to keep or throw away. Instead, it encourages us to trust what happens when we stop trying to control everything and simply allow.Like soil that regenerates not through intervention but through patient decomposition, we don’t need to be rebuilt. We just need to remember that we're already whole, already becoming.

Learning to See Yourself

March brings longer days and the first green shoots peeking through the soil, a yearly reminder that renewal isn’t just for nature. As the world wakes up around us, we’re invited to tend our own inner gardens.

Spring's energy invites us inward as much as outward. Just as we clear winter's dust from our homes, we can release emotional clutter and make space for what wants to grow.

In a world obsessed with appearances and external validation, we often overlook the gifts we already possess: true beauty lies within. This poem serves as an invitation to shift our focus from seeking external approval to honoring our authentic selves. 

                                                    Photo by Sagar Kulkarni on Unsplash

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Mirror, mirror on the wall…….

Will I ever be beautiful enough? 

Or maybe lovable enough?

I just never learned to notice and appreciate 

ALL the beautiful things about myself.

I wanted to be beautiful, more desperately, 

wanted to feel loved; 

So don’t judge me by my parts; 

I’m too busy cataloging my 

weaknesses, mistakes, 

and flaws to recognize myself. 

Learning to witness the voice inside my head. 

To notice when unhelpful thoughts arrive, 

And shift my focus away from worry.

What if?

What if our beauty rested in 

simply being who we are, 

with the face and body we own, 

and joyfully embracing that every day.

What if it was okay to have flaws, 

not only okay but actually celebrated.

And the reality is, I am imperfect. 

We all are. We all have scars, inside and out, 

and we all have moments of weakness and self-doubt. 

More questions than answers.

Joy and beauty are everywhere, 

in everything, in every one of us; 

no matter how we look, 

and no matter how we may hurt temporarily; 

Grace is beauty in motion.

If I could truly see the woman in the window, 

I'd see someone fully alive. 

That's who I really am.”

For me, beauty is being who I am; 

I am me; I am just me!

______________________________________________________________________

This journey from self-doubt to self-acceptance isn't linear, it’s daily practice, seasonal work. As Khalil Gibran so eloquently reminds, “Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.” As the world awakens this March, I encourage you to ask yourself: What would shift if you embraced your beauty, not in spite of your flaws, but because of your complete self? What could grow from that acceptance?

Opening Your Heart to Love

Photo by Mayur Gala on Unsplash

Imagine standing at the edge of a breathtaking vista, your heart fully open, ready to let love flow into every part of your being. Picture yourself radiating confidence, completely at ease with vulnerability. From this openness flows the capacity to truly listen, understand, accept, and forgive. 

The thought of allowing love in often stirs a whirlwind of emotions; excitement mixed with fear. Love isn’t something you find “out there”; it’s a magnificent, infinite wellspring within us all.

Regardless of your upbringing or external circumstances, the power to welcome love lies solely within you. No one can give you more love than you are willing to accept. Imagine your heart as a vessel; if you’ve closed yourself off, even the most generous love can’t penetrate your defenses. Your heart’s capacity for love starts with your willingness to receive it, first from yourself, and then from others. 

“Love yourself—accept yourself—forgive yourself—and be good to yourself, because without you, the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.”    ~Leo F. Buscaglia. 

This wisdom serves as a reminder: you are a source of incredible potential and beauty waiting to be shared.

The Journey of Self-Love

Opening your heart to yourself can be intimidating. Often, we create barriers by refusing to acknowledge our true selves. Instead of being authentic, we judge and criticize ourselves, striving for unrealistic ideals.

How often do you perceive something as wrong when you experience emotions like anger or loneliness? “I shouldn’t feel this way. What’s wrong with me?” Take a moment to reflect. How often do you hear this inner dialogue echoing in your mind? 

These judgments create barriers that prevent love from entering. When we label or dismiss our feelings as wrong, we reject parts of ourselves, and love cannot thrive in such rejection. But what if we approached ourselves and love with more gentleness?

Embracing Our Humanity

Love, like us, is messy and imperfect. It may not always be patient or kind, and doubts can creep in. We may snap at the people we care about, feel jealous, or withdraw when hurt. However, falling into guilt or shame for being human is where love falters. Instead, what if we could recognize our flaws with compassion? By accepting our own messiness, we naturally extend that compassion to others, opening the door to deeper, more honest connections. 

Love as Practice 

Love is a gift we give, but it’s also something we actively practice. It takes effort and intention. Each day, we must choose to show up, forgive, and open our hearts, regardless of how others treat us. We can decide to love even when it’s not returned. Love grows when we let our compassion flow freely, without expecting anything in return.

Close your eyes and visualize how you want love to feel and show up in your life. Imagine it wrapping around you like a warm hug, expressed through laughter, tenderness, and special moments.

Opening your heart to love, starting with yourself, is one of the bravest and most transformative choices you can make. It won’t be easy, but it will always be worth it. The love you seek is already within you, waiting for your permission to flourish. 

Here's what this practice looks like in my own life

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Relationship of One

I love myself, but sometimes…I feel rejected, 

inadequate, not enough.

So I turned inward and lost my way—
judgment, self-loathing, criticism,
playing the same old song on repeat.

But my past caught up with me —
time to stop running, time to face myself…

Love and appreciation for who I am —
I healed my wounds and stepped back out.

Sometimes I slip; I’m only human.

Love, Connect, Grow, Become;

No matter what happens, I am enough.
When I mess up, when doubts whisper: I am enough!.

I shift my focus, claim my truth; I am enough.

Take a risk: Be Me! Trust Me! Accept Me! Love Me!

Here I am, strong, kind, uniquely me,
ready to celebrate connections.
Happy Heart’s Day to me! A Relationship of One.
Loving Me, Being Me.

***

The journey to loving ourselves is rarely straightforward. We stumble, judge ourselves, we run from our own truth. But when we finally turn around and face ourselves with compassion, everything shifts. This Valentine’s Day, I’m celebrating the relationship that matters most; the one I have with myself. Happy Heart’s Day to you, too; wherever you are on your own journey home.  

Embracing Simplicity: A Journey to a Fulfilled Life

Photo by Matteo Di Iorio on Unsplash

Do you long to live a simpler life? In our busy world filled with noise and distractions, the quest for simplicity can be both a challenge and liberating. But simplifying doesn't mean sacrificing joy; rather, it can open the door to making each day and every experience fulfilling and nourishing to your soul.

Presence: The Foundation of Simplicity

Being present is the key to transforming your life. As I sit in a cozy café, I cannot help but notice how many people are physically here but mentally elsewhere, wrapped up in their devices. It's easy to fall into this habit. We've often believed that showing up physically is enough, but true presence requires something deeper. It asks us to bring our full attention, our hearts, and our awareness to where we are.

This is where simplicity begins: not in doing less, but in being fully in the moment. When we engage in what we're doing, be it sipping coffee or chatting with a friend, we amplify our capacity to enjoy those moments. Here are a few ways to cultivate presence:

• Mindfulness Practice: Consider taking a few minutes each day to sit in silence and focus on your breath. Notice your surroundings, the sounds, and sensations. This practice has transformed my mornings, helping me start with clarity, peace, and purpose.

• Gratitude Journaling: Reflect on the activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. I keep a gratitude journal where I jot down simple pleasures, like a smile from a stranger or a beautiful sunset. Writing them down deepens my appreciation of life's little blessings.

• Digital Detox: Set aside time each day to disconnect from technology. Use this time to engage in hobbies you love, whether it's reading, walking in nature, or connecting with your loved ones.

Simplifying Your Daily Life

Once you begin practicing presence, you'll naturally start to see what's essential and what's not. Simplicity unfolds when we release what does not serve us and cherish what does. Pause for a moment and consider how you can make any activity more meaningful. Here are some simple ways to enrich your daily tasks:

Transform mundane tasks into playful experiences. It does not have to be a chore. Whether it's cooking dinner or cleaning, add a fun twist or listen to music that uplifts your spirit. Rather than rushing through meals, savor each bite. Pay attention to the flavors and textures, turning mealtime into a nourishing experience for your body and mind. Reconnect with nature. Spend time outdoors, appreciating the beauty around you. Nature has a way of resetting our minds and providing clarity on what truly matters.

Identifying What's Important

Once you begin to live more mindfully, the next step is to clarify what's important to you. Simplicity isn't just about clearing clutter; it's about making space for what lights you up. Take time with these reflective questions; they can reveal what truly deserves your energy and attention:

• What are your core values? Think about what drives you: love, adventure, creativity, or perhaps service to others.

• What brings you joy? Identify activities that elevate your spirit. Make time for them regularly; they are your soul's compass.

• What drains your energy? Recognizing tasks or obligations that don't serve you is crucial. These are often the first things to simplify away.

The Gift of Your Presence

As you simplify your life, you'll discover something profound: your presence becomes your greatest gift.

As Maya Angelou wisely said, "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

When we clear away the unnecessary and show up fully for what matters, we offer something irreplaceable. Our presence, like our fingerprints, is uniquely ours. In a world that grows increasingly distracted, choosing to be fully present is both an act of simplicity and an act of love.

The journey toward simplicity begins with a single step. Take a moment to reflect: What things are truly important to you, what do you hold most dear? As you clarify your values and align your daily life with them, you'll discover that simplicity isn't about doing less, it's about doing what matters most.

As Goethe reminds us: "Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now."

Embrace the journey, and let the magic of simplicity light your path.