Finding Balance: Grace over Perfection

Photo by Dingzeyu Li on Unsplash

"Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, and order, and rhythm, and harmony." Thomas Merton

Balance seems like the perfect prescription for our chaotic world. But who hasn't felt pulled in multiple directions; emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually? It's a perpetual juggling act between family and work obligations.

We're bombarded with expert advice: eat kale, do yoga, walk, lift weights, go organic, eliminate sugar, get more sleep. And do it all while raising a family and managing a demanding job. It's enough to make you want to cover your ears.

What do you choose? Do you go for a walk instead of doing the dishes? Do you appreciate the fullness of your life instead of focusing on what you lack? Do you love yourself as much as you love others?

The last few months, life came at me full force. Events challenged my sense of self and direction. I found myself snapping at people I love, cancelling plans, lying awake replaying conversations. When any aspect of life draws disproportionate energy, something gets shortchanged. That's when I realized what was missing:

Grace.

Grace to just "be" and not "do." You don't always need to be getting stuff done. Sometimes it's perfectly okay and absolutely necessary to slow down, kick back, and do something just for you.

Living a balanced life is about integrating what's truly important to you and realizing that sometimes you need to make choices about what comes first. For example, last Tuesday, I sat on my porch with a cup of tea, doing absolutely nothing. For the first time in weeks, I could actually breathe. 

The wonderful thing is that we have a choice. The hardest thing is also that we have a choice.

So how do I practice this grace I am learning about? Not through grand gestures, but through small, daily choices. 

I'm learning to make self care a priority and not waiver. My revelation: the distractions and commitments will always be there waiting. When we're clear about what we want and who we want to be, that clarity fuels our motivation.

Whatever we focus on grows.

Simple Daily Practices

• Reflect — Take a few minutes to let your mind unwind
• Move — Get oxygen into your body and brain.
• Laugh — Find humor in daily life.
• Appreciate — Note what you're grateful for.
• Let go — Release grievances, forgive, and move forward.

A Question for You

What small step can you take that will allow more gentle and unforced rhythms of grace to flow in your life?

I don't want to live on autopilot. I want to consciously pause and reflect on what works, what I want to change, and what I want to continue. Making reflection part of our mindset means we're committed to doing better.

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"In a world of noise, confusion, and conflict, it is necessary that there be places of silence, inner discipline, and peace. In such places, love can blossom." — Thomas Merton

Joy & Happiness

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” ~Dalai Lama

Life does not have to be complicated. Happiness doesn't have to be difficult, and yet, we frequently make it so. We are responsible for our own happiness. It comes from within, which is great news because it gives us control and makes things possible!

It takes effort and it may not be easy, but you can accomplish it. Happiness is a practice. It’s on us to learn it. While some days are easier to find a smile than others, happiness is a daily choice. It’s a mindset we can nurture and train. 

That does not mean it’s there every second, but when you notice it's missing, often the tiniest shift can put you right back on top of the world. Life is an open-ended horizon. Nothing is impossible.

We often mistake joy in life as something provided to us. We make joy, the world does not make it for us. Every moment, every activity we engage, offers us an opportunity to create the joy we seek. Life changes when we realize we are the gatekeepers of our joy. 

Get back to basics

 

Trust me, anyone can go back to basics. It’s all about setting an intention and following through with consistency and discipline. 

Everyone I speak to is feeling a sense of grief, insecurity, frustration, and concern right now. I know that going back to basics won’t magically dissolve the real difficulty and mix of emotions we are all experiencing. But they truly do help us feel better.

A - Z Journey: You can begin to develop and strengthen your spirit when you listen and trust yourself.

A - appreciate the gift of life

B - blessings are all around us

C - how we choose to respond to every experience we encounter. 

D - discernment  through ongoing attentiveness to our experience

E - becoming the most encouraging person you know.

F - Keep it simple and focus on what you care most about.

G - grateful for all things big and small that every day brings

H - hope; let this positive emotion fuel your dreams, actions and attitudes

I  - inspiration: Commit to starting and ending your day with inspiration

J - choose to become joyful.

K - kindness: Let’s work on being the kindest human being we can be.

L - love instead of fearing.

M -  make today so full and meaningful there’s no room to dwell on yesterday.v

N - nurturing; take good care of the best that is within you. 

O - open up to opportunities

P – Infinite possibilities

Q - questing; savor questions and see your life as a journey

R - receptive: self exploration and personal growth continue  

S - soul solutions; cooperating, participating and working together

T - trusting; healing self and relations,

U - understand that pain is unavoidable. 

V - vocalize your feelings; feel them, acknowledge them, express them

W - wonder; cultivate a vibrant curiosity 

X -  x factor; accept the unknown as part of life

Y - You: There is only one you. That is your superpower.

Z - zen your now: Experience, appreciate, enjoy, and let go to new experiences.

How we experience the world is largely a result of how we internalize it. Instead of telling yourself dramatic stories about the past—how hurt you were or how hard it was—challenge your emotions and focus on lessons learned. It won’t always be easy. 

Just know you have the power to choose from moment to moment how you experience things you enjoy: with a sense of ownership, anxiety, and fear, or with a sense of freedom, peace, and love.

The most important question: What do you choose right now?