Balance Isn't Something You Find, It's Something You Practice
Photo by Malek Larif on Unsplash
I had a lovely plan for my Saturday: yoga, grocery shopping, prepping for the week, and then some much-needed rest. But at 9 a.m., my mom called. She needed my help. My first thought was, "Oh no, my plans are ruined!"
Then I caught myself.
What if balance isn't about sticking to the plan? What if it's about being flexible enough to flow with what life brings?
So I set aside my plans. My mom needed more than help—she needed quality time. We talked, laughed, and shared our thoughts. My "ruined" Saturday turned out to be a day I'll never forget.
I'm learning that balance is not a fixed plan; it's responding to what life brings. But this realization didn't come easily.
When Balance Felt Impossible
For as long as I can remember, my mind has been a labyrinth of "what ifs." What if I make a mistake? What if I embarrass myself? What if I fail? I kept a mental tally of my mistakes—foolish words, absurd ideas, unsuccessful attempts to win people over.
My brain worked overtime, analyzing every possibility, replaying past mistakes, worrying about the future. I spent hours second-guessing conversations, worrying about things beyond my control, and creating problems that didn't exist. I insisted on having things done a certain way and struggled to accept alternatives.
I regretted that I couldn't just enjoy moments without needing thousands of others to see I was enjoying them.
It struck me during a late-night spiral. I'd spent hours replaying a conversation, obsessing over whether I'd said something wrong. My heart pounded, my stomach churned, and I couldn't sleep.
In that moment, I asked myself: Is any of this actually helping me?
The answer was obvious. My overthinking had never solved anything. It had never prevented bad things from happening. It had only drained my energy and made me miserable.
That night, I made a decision: I would stop letting my thoughts control me. I didn't know how yet, but I knew I couldn't keep living like this. Although I was uncertain about the path ahead, I was certain I could no longer endure this state of being.
"Life is the balance of holding on and letting go." – Rumi
Small Experiments in Stillness
The transformation began with small experiments. I discovered yoga, meditation, and spending time in nature.
The first step was developing a daily breathing practice. This became my anchor during a time when everything felt unstable. My yoga mat became a safe space to reconnect with my mind, body, and spirit.
I cherish my early mornings when I focus on my breath. I particularly enjoy abdominal breathing: one hand on my chest, one on my belly, inhaling for a count of 4, holding for 7, exhaling for 8. When I feel stressed or about to enter a stressful situation, I take a moment to breathe. This instantly calms me and allows me to think clearly.
"Feelings come and go like clouds in the sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor." – Thich Nhat Hanh
Breathing exercises have become integral to my daily routine. I combine them with morning and evening meditation, which through consistent practice has become a habit.
I ask myself questions like, "What is my body telling me today?" and "How do I feel?" I've come to understand that true happiness, like balance, is an internal process that doesn't require external validation. It's something I must relearn daily.
The Practice Continues
Even now, my mind still wanders. I still have days when I'm worried, anxious, and fearful. But I'm learning to simply observe these emotions without criticizing myself. I've come to understand that I have a body that feels and a brain that thinks—these are integral parts of me, but not my true self.
I don't need to carry around labels or mistakes from yesterday as if they define me. Whatever you've done, it's over. It doesn't have to brand you.
The difference now is I recognize when I'm slipping, and I choose to return to my practice.
Choosing Balance, Moment by Moment
Circling back to that Saturday morning: now I know disruptions aren't failures. They're part of practicing balance.
Balance isn't something you achieve once; it's something you choose, moment by moment.
"Balance is the perfect state of still water. Let that be our model." – Confucius
