Have you ever felt the need for balance in your life, but struggled to achieve it?
Does it feel impossible? Do you wonder if balance is even possible?
Walking into the yoga studio, I instinctively stretched my mat against the wall, creating a safety net in case of a fall. Near the beginning of class, my instructor offered a metaphor that stuck with me.
“We all have areas of our life that need attention. Start applying that attention here and now.” As she guided us halfway into a pose, she concluded, “If you require strength, then push yourself harder; or if it is too much, ease up. If you require peace, then take a deep breath.”
As if on cue, I toppled over, and the wall didn’t catch me. This stark reminder underscored my need for balance. This lack of balance stretched far beyond my physical abilities; it poured over into my personal and professional life. I had questions to answer, decisions to make, and people to talk to. It seeped into every action I attempted despite being physically grounded; I was still at risk of losing balance.
I recognized that I developed an all-or-nothing mentality, either having a packed calendar or letting everything go and spending long days doing nothing. I was either overconfident or completely unsure of myself. This perpetual imbalance left me apprehensive, unsure of myself.
I took a step back, evaluated my role in life, and found my center amidst life’s surprises. The best way to strike a balance is to roll with the punches and go with the flow. Life’s unpredictability presents opportunities to meet them with acceptance and grace.
In my journey to inner balance, I made three fundamental changes:
1. Stop being overly busy. I wanted people to perceive me as busy. I spent countless hours engrossed in volunteer organizations, pushed through illnesses until my body forced me to stop, and worked tirelessly from one obligation to the next.
I had a sudden realization that I needed to slow down. I had to start questioning why I was keeping myself so busy. I’m learning to embrace downtime as an opportunity for self-development.
2. Recognize external pressure. I was constantly anxious and had thoughts about things I should have or could have done, unsure of what to expect from myself. There were things I had thought I wanted, but when faced with the opportunity to act, I felt more obligated than interested. It is a constant struggle.
Why is it so difficult to say no? The emotional turmoil I felt while contemplating declining a request used to propel me around town, home, and work for the people I loved in an instant.
I recall a day when I was on the brink of complete overwhelm due to the responsibilities of being a sister, daughter, friend, and employer. Just as I was about to hang up the phone with a potential new opportunity, I felt a surge of energy. I had hastily agreed to a project that I knew was ill-advised.
However, something felt off. “Why did I do this?” I wondered.
Reality hit me when one of my kittens fell to the floor with a thud. I snapped out of it and started laughing; cats are so playful. I’m learning to listen to my intuition and assert control over my actions. Maintaining balance involves continuing in the face of pressure and learning when to let it go.
3. Stop rushing. The more I tried to control it, the more I felt out of alignment. I burned out trying to make things happen. When something went wrong, I blamed myself for not anticipating it. I couldn’t relax because I was always tightening the reins, trying to steer the unknown.
I couldn’t focus, meditate, or even enjoy the ocean, something that once brought me pure joy. Instead of peace, I felt stuck and overwhelmed. My mind replayed every decision I’d made over the past few years like a courtroom drama: “If only you’d done this,” “You should have seen that coming,” “You’ve ruined your shot.”
I remind myself that there’s time to learn. I create deadlines where there isn’t one. For most of my life, I was obsessed with getting everything right. I planned, controlled, and anticipated every outcome to avoid being caught off guard. I saw life as a puzzle: if I made the right moves in the right order, I’d achieve peace, success, and love.
But life doesn’t work that way. That’s when it hit me: nature doesn’t force anything. A wave doesn’t strive to be taller, and a tree doesn’t try to grow faster. They exist in a kind of trust, a natural cooperation with life. And somehow, despite all that ease, they thrive.
What if I’m the one disrupting my own flow by trying to control everything?
I’m still learning. I still fall, literally and metaphorically. Some days I catch myself rushing, accepting every opportunity, wearing busyness like a badge of honor. But more and more, I’m able to pause. To breathe. To trust the flow instead of fighting it.
I’m still learning to move at my own pace. To recognize when pressure is external. To let downtime be restful instead of another task. Some days are easier than others. But now when I fall, in yoga or in life, I don’t blame myself for not having a wall there. I just get back up and find my balance again.
“Within us lies a sanctuary to which we can retreat at any time and be ourselves.” ~Hermann Hesse
What helps you find your center when life knocks you off balance?
